Independent Self

The independent self is defining one’s self in terms of one’s own internal thoughts, feelings, and actions. These are beliefs that we have that define who we are. Westerners use this view of self and favor uniqueness. In the United States people get married to have children, for love and to receive economic security. Some people will even get married to get citizenship into the United States. Mary who is going to get married soon and with the independent view of self she might say I will get married because I love my fiancé, I want to have children, I need someone to provide for me emotional support, and be there when I need someone to go out with socially. The desire to have children and have a family is especially high for Americans but being in a marital situation is not expected. Being independent or raising children in a single parent home is a frequent occurrence. Sometimes people get married because of unplanned pregnancy, but people desire internally love, companionship, and commitment. Even though many Americans chose to marry it is just as fine not to marry. Independence is favored in the American culture. Both men and women in today’s society strive to stay independent even when they enter into a close intimate relationship.

The interdependent self is a relationship between its members that is dependent on each other. Easterners use this type of self and favor feeling connected and interdependent with other people. This concept says that without the other person the relationship can’t survive. They will be emotionally, economically, ecologically, and morally reliant on others. They strive to be part of a social group. In Eastern culture marriage is a must and remaining single isn’t an option. Easterners want to get married to have children as well, but they are allowed to have only two children. They also want to get married because of social status. Mary might say she is getting married because she is loved by her fiancés parents and friends and that she is dependent on him to meet her needs. Being dependent upon each other is a main ingredient in their relationships. Their thoughts, feelings and actions are connected to the relationship they have with others. They are motivated by the concept of family, belonging to a religious group and feeling obligated to others.