The second counseling session I think went ok, but it was harder this
time even though I maintained good soler skills. I showed interest in what my client was saying while maintaining
fantastic eye contact without appearing too intense and I was somewhat relaxed.
In the beginning of the session I greeted the client and attempted to make him
feel welcome. I felt this would make me less threatening to him and show to him
that I am a person with interests. I then asked very casually “what would you
like to talk about?” This was an attempt to end chit chat, get down to the
business at hand and give control of the conversation to him.
I used direct leading by saying “what do you want to talk
about today?” I asked closed ended questions to gather information such as “are
you in college and do you have a family?” I used indirect leading by asking
“tell me more about the relationship before you found out about the affair?” During the session I kept thinking how I can
relate to the client’s situation. I used an empathetic voice toned statement when I said “you
feel scared because he threatened you.” I
used open ended questions “do you think you could survive on your own without
your husband”? I am not
really sure and I did take accountability for this by stating that I was not
sure and that I did not have the answer to everything. I have never experienced
anything in my personal life like this situation so I felt that I had no bias,
but on the other hand was not really prepared for the situation because I had
never given such an issue any thought. I
feel that this message of no bias to his situation was indicated when I showed
no facial expression that would convey negativism. I did not try to out talk or
over talk my client and gave him sufficient time to express himself. In the interview I noted that by doing this
technique he sometimes would hesitate and then go on and elaborate without any
further encouragement. I do know there were a couple of times during the
session that I hesitated too long with a period of silence that could cause
feelings of awkwardness. I realize that
timing and keeping pace in the session is important.
I tried to be empathetic
toward the client but I found it difficult because I have never been married
nor had a partner that was unfaithful. I have had some experience through my
sister who was married for seven years and found out that her husband was
cheating. She made the decision to file
for divorce and now is very happy with a new partner. Divorce in my family is acceptable,
if necessary, but for my client and her family, divorce is not to be considered.
I can somewhat relate to this client’s issues because of my sister’s experience,
but otherwise I can only offer support and empathy because I wasn’t sure what
was the true root of the problem.
The presenting problem was my client being cheated on by her husband of
nine years. The working problem is that she was scared, threatened and she wanted
out of the relationship, but didn’t want to disappoint her family by getting a
divorce. I used minimal encouragers by
nodding my head and saying ok to encourage her to continue and I summarized the
main themes. My plan of action was to find out what the
problem was and help the client sort out the issues. I had difficulty initiating the flow of the
session a few times and I was aware that my pauses were too long while I searched
for what action to take next. I used silence hoping that the pause would probe
the client to go further into the discussion.
I
provided no feedback and was unable to indicate how the client was progressing
because I had met the client for the first time and felt that I did not know her
well enough. I felt the client’s
behavior did not affect me because I stayed neutral with the issues presented
and I was able to accept her viewpoints. I did not provide immediacy which is a
type of feedback that refers to the present, outside of the session, that is not
directly related to the session. I did not explore with the client outside
situations that surround the current issue. I felt the session maintained
momentum and had direction, there was no physical distance between myself and
the client, trust was not an issue, there was no power struggle and I felt no
sexual tension. I did not offer information or confront the client because it
was our first meeting and the details she shared seemed consistent. Because she did not show inconsistencies during
the session I did not probe deeper into the issues that she presented, but
would plan to do so in a future session.
I did
not set any goals with my client. I never really got under the surface to determine
the reason for the problem. She led me to believe that the marriage was great
and there were no other issues except her husband cheating with multiple women.
I never determined the cause for the infinity and it was obvious that she
wanted to leave the relationship, but felt constraints due to her family values
and children. I was frustrated as a counselor because I did not know how to
help her figure out what to do because I did not know. I hope that talking it through with me helped
her organize some of her own thoughts.
I feel more
comfortable doing the counseling sessions but I really do not like to role
play. I feel I do a better job being the counselor than when I am being the
client. Even though I was the counselor during this role play I found this
session was difficult for me. I really felt that I did not know what to ask or
how to go deeper into the issues. I wanted to give her advice but I should not
offer my opinion and I found it hard to hold back. I was confused about what to
say because she had conflicting values. I felt a little more comfortable with the
role play, but I feel that I have not demonstrated improvement in my techniques
and by watching this session I realize how much improvement I need. I have
gained a lot of skills from both video tapes. I have learned about myself and
what I am good at.