Adolescent males live in a society today that glorifies violence and gives power and recognition to people who commit violent acts. They are constantly bombarded with thoughts, visions and actions towards violent masculinity. This is the formative period in an adolescent’s life where they are growing from childhood into adulthood and are establishing their own identity (Morris, n.d). Anger can be so overwhelming for the adolescent that a professional utilizing effective communication can redirect the anger process.
This time of life is very stressful, turbulent, difficult, and challenging for young male adolescents. They are exploring their identity in relations to others, trying to understand the complex world of emotions and social relationships, and learning to fulfill gender stereotypes and gender roles. They are overcome by strong negative emotions due to hormone and pubertal development (Underwood, 2003) and a rise in testosterone levels during puberty influences their feelings of anger (Murphy, 2006). There are added pressures from trying to fit in, seeking social acceptance and the respect of their peers (Morris & Orr, n.d). Many adolescents experience feeling of fear, disappointment, depression, worry, and bitterness (Arnett, 2007).
Living in a dysfunctional family can have a great influence and make young males more prone to violent behavior. The early years of childhood greatly influence the attitudes of an adolescent (Morris & Orr, n.d). Adolescent boys absorb and model their behavior from socialization at home (Clements & Ferren, 2005).
Family conflict and disorganization is the biggest influence in participating in risky behavior. Inconsistent and lenient discipline, lack of monitoring of activities, and lack of warmth and availability from parents can cause engaging in risky behaviors to increase. Divorced families have an even higher risk for delinquency (Arnett, 2007). Adolescents have a strong desire for individual autonomy, and want support from their parents, but often do not receive it (Underwood, 2003). Dysfunctional families have closed communication styles demonstrated by the use of yelling, blaming, sarcasm, and silence (Vernon, 2004). They utilize anger as coping skills and violence to resolve their feelings of anger. Chronic exposure to high levels of violence leads to aggression, anxiety, depression, post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and self-destructive behaviors. When the adolescents become seriously involved in a risky behavior, the more it has to do with their environment (Flannery & Huff, 1999). Outside the home, society influences such as utilizing avoidance learning and crime fighters, teach adolescents how to give and receive violence. Avoidance learning is a negative view that playing with dolls, doing feminine activities, and crying are taboo. Crying is considered showing that the adolescent has remorse and is considered childish and immature (Campbell, 1993). Crime fighters are popularized and glorified in toys, media and gaming.
Many young males that have had role-models with inadequate communication and coping skills often feel helpless and overwhelmed, and do not know how to express their anger in acceptable ways (Campbell, 1993). They may become disruptive, argumentative, withdrawn from society, and develop antisocial behaviors (Shah, 2010) If they feel depressed and lonely they are more likely to explode when frustrated (Clements, 2005).
The challenges faced by adolescents today are greater than previous generations. Currently adolescents are experimenting with drugs at an earlier age, are two times more likely to be victims of violent crimes such as aggravated assault, robbery, rape, and homicide, and when under the age of 15 are twelve times more likely to die from a gun (Vernon, 2004). The higher the levels of disappointment, rejection in love, low performance in school and low self-esteem, increases the probability of angry outbursts that can escalate into violence (Arnett, 2007).
Aggression can be central to a young adolescent’s view of how manhood is defined. Adolescents use aggression and violence to be manly or tough, show and gain territory, compete with males, win socially, and instill fear and control in others (Campbell, 1993). When a male adolescent experiences a trigger, the reaction can be an angry response. Anger is an emotion that is expressed when they perceive that they have been offended, wronged, or denied in some way. Anger occurs when a person makes a conscious choice to take action upon someone else who they believe is threatening (Meier Clinics, 2014). Anger can be demonstrated physically and/or mentally. Physical signs can be a fast heartbeat, sweating, shaking, clenched jaws, clenched fists, fast breathing, stomach aches, tense body muscles, frowning, scowling, redness of the face, yelling, swearing, withdrawal, pacing, throwing objects, threatening others, and passive-aggressive behavior. Mental symptoms can be concentration problems, ignoring schoolwork, or falling behind, taking sides, blaming others, confusion, short-tempered memory problems, irritability, and thoughts of harm to self, others or animals (Free Anger Management Worksheets).
An adolescent when they harbor feelings including feelings of hurt, fear, protection of self, and frustration demonstrate the utilization of the coping skill of suppressed anger. Feelings of hurt can include: rejection, emotional pain, anguish, guilt and physical pain. Feelings of fear can be due to not feeling in control of their life or the situation, or loss of their security, safety, reputation or self-image. Developing adolescents strive to protect their self-image and self-esteem and are concerned about how their peers view them. These are important aspects of their struggling development that is difficult for them to manage. Any one or a combination of these feelings can cause them to have feelings of inadequacy and not being able to control their lives. Their frustration can increase when their goals are blocked and injustice occurs that enhances their feelings of powerlessness and consequently they react, utilizing anger (Murphy, 2006).
Troubled male adolescents externally communicate their feelings of anger and desire for violence and this affects the external world of the adolescent. Externalizing increases when parental control and monitoring are lacking and the adolescent lacks self-control. They engage in delinquency, fighting, substance abuse, risky driving, and unprotected sex (Arnett, 2007).
Male adolescents will use anger as a coping strategy that can grow escalating into an act of violence. The types of violence include: relationship, situational, predatory, and psycho-pathology. Relationship violence is the most prevalent causing a pattern of poor communication skills and a cycle of abuse that happens amongst their family, friends, and companions. Situational violence develops quickly and can be intensely fueled by poverty, low socioeconomic status, access to guns, poor problem-solving skills and access to alcohol or drugs. Predatory violence can be sought to give themselves feelings of belonging. They gain these feelings by intentionally joining gangs, participating in muggings, and robbery with “friends” and a variety of illegal activities. Psycho-pathology violence is rare, extreme, repetitive, and involves some type of psychological trauma (Flannery & Huff 1999). Often sociopathic or psychopathic personalities develop overtime due to relationships of repetitive abuse, situational lives full of poverty, predatory desires to belong or mental illness. Adolescent males are at high risk for dramatic and frequent negative dysfunctional behavior (Flannery & Huff, 1999). There are extreme cases that have experienced repetitive feelings of inadequacy and not having control of their lives. An effective communicator cannot put a stopper on the anger, but needs to get to the root of the problem and solve the underlying issue. This is critical because if the root of the problem is not solved it will manifest later in life (Gregston, 2011).
Communication is one of the most important aspects that a Human Service professional needs to master (Roberts & Bucksey, 2007). Adolescent stress and traumatic experiences can influence their level of maturity, beliefs, attitudes, health, behavior, and ability to communicate well with others. When a professional works with a troubled adolescent they need to consider: the audience, source, context, goal, message, media, and feedback. The audience would be defined as the communicator working with the adolescent. The source is who is initiating the action and are they credible to the adolescent. The communicator through the use of words and actions must be able to establish credibility, rapport, and convey warmth (Morris, n.d.). Context is the environment where the communication occurs providing a one-on-one private area. Maintaining confidentiality is very important creating a safe environment to overcome angry, painful and volatile feelings (Clements & Ferren, 2005).
Effective communication needs to have direction and set goals to make the future better for the adolescent. Some thoughts that the communicator needs to define would be: what does the adolescent need, what has to happen for them to achieve it and what will happen if the issue is not resolved now (Hattersley & McJannet 2008). Characteristics of constructive goals address the most pressing issue first that is presented by the adolescent. The first thought presented may not be the true issue that is causing an angry response, but it is a good starting point. The communicator needs to clarify the urgency early on to ensure that the anger is not at a point where the adolescent may harm themselves or others. The communicator helps the adolescent form the thoughts to be mutually constructive, specific, clear, easily restated, operationally defined, realistic, prioritized, and overall conducive to improve the adolescent’s life (Hutchinson, 2012).
The setting of goals involves good communication skills. Goals need to summarize the main ideas, change the issue into a goal, prioritize, brainstorm for solutions and examine how this goal will affect the adolescent as well as everyone else in their life. The communicator must clearly state the goals so that the adolescent will take ownership of the issue and be able to transfer their feelings into a goal. The communicator can guide the structuring of the goals by asking the adolescent three important questions. What are they going to do, under what conditions are their actions, and what is the length of time it will take for the goal to be completed. The communicator needs to help the adolescent develop a contingency plan because each plan needs to have back-up goal in case the original goal does not work (Hutchinson, 2012).
Goals set clear direction to reach desired results that are to be achieved and how the communicator will motivate the adolescent to reach those goals. Goals are an important aspect of the communication and can make the future better for the adolescent by sorting out what does the adolescent needs and what needs to occur for them to achieve it. The message offered by the communicator is what steps are required to select and achieve the appropriate goals while using a variety of forms of media where the communication. Feedback is ongoing and is used to frequently check to be sure that both the communicator, as well as the adolescent, clearly understands each other. Constant feedback is given for the purpose of indicating how the adolescent’s input affects others, evaluating their progress, and supplying them with information based on the communicator’s observations (Hutchinson, 2012). Each participant in the process needs to be aware that even though certain paths of communication have been planned, many times it takes on a life of its own and just happens (Hattersley & McJannet, 2008).
Effective communication has perceptions, expectations, and demands. Communication is directed by the perception of whether or not the adolescent is receiving and accepting the information being discussed. The expectation is that adolescents tend to hear what they desire to hear and block out what they feel is unfamiliar or threatening but both need to be able to adjust their responses within a desired framework. The demands are the adolescent actively work towards taking action at controlling their anger and believing positively in something. To make the perceptions, expectations and demands successful it is important for both parties to give their attention, and communicate their understanding, insight, and support to each other (Hattersley & McJannet, 2008).
There can be many barriers to effective communication, especially with adolescents. The adolescent may feel isolated, apprehensive, disoriented, confused, and possibly hostile about communicating with anyone about their concerns. Before effective communication can occur, immediacy is an excellent skill to use to gain an adolescent’s trust, when they are being distant from the communicator, or when there is a power struggle. Immediacy is a type of feedback that is not related to what is being discussed but is general comments, observations and non-threating questions posed to the adolescent about their life and activities. This technique can relax the adolescent and give them the message that the communicator cares about them as a person. It provides a leading pathway towards what issues are paramount for the adolescent and gives a starting point for discussion.
The three further essential ingredients to develop a successful communication relationship are: congruency, unconditional positive regard, and empathetic understanding. A communicator needs to be congruent in showing their genuineness within the exchange. The communicator cannot be the all-knowing, higher power over the adolescent demonstrating rigidity and a controlling attitude. A showing of unconditional positive regard is a nonjudgmental acceptance by the communicator towards the adolescent. Each adolescent is unique and needs to be treated as an individual by the communicator. Empathic understanding is accepting the adolescent for who they are and where they are in their life. The communicator indicates a true understanding of their point of view by putting themselves in the adolescent’s situation. Incorporating these elements build a safe environment for the adolescent and are essential for effective communication (Hutchinson, 2012).
To consistently build an effective communication, one must listen carefully; make eye contact, show mutual respect, and interest, be honest, show compassion and patience while emphasizing the adolescent’s strengths (Morris, n.d.). The communicator hopes to encourage the adolescent to express their emotions with the goal of helping the adolescent find appropriate ways to deal with their emotions in a socially acceptable manner.
When the communicator begins to discover the root of the problem they need to use the open-ended question technique. Open-ended questions allow the adolescent to explore and talk about the issues that are bothering them. The communicator needs to listen attentively and show acceptance of the struggles in their life. The goal is not having the adolescent become defensive, but to open up and reveal their feelings. When probing questions are being asked the adolescent may become upset and the communicator needs to stop talking, become quiet and allow them to get their feelings out. Many times the feelings will be communicated as anger because the feelings have been bottled up and brewing and for a long time. The communicator keeps the exchange on track and allows the adolescent to openly express themselves. Effective communication needs to be a two-way street where both parts of the audience participates and exchanges ideas, discusses disagreements, impressions and feelings. Open communication allows the adolescent to feel they have control over their situation (Pincus, n.d.).
Paraphrasing, clarifying by asking the correct questions, actively listening, summarizing and providing immediate feedback are communication techniques used so that both parties can be sure they clearly understand what is being said. Paraphrasing reflects the content of what the adolescent has said, encourages them to discuss issues in more detail, and ensures that the communication has been understood by both the adolescent and the communicator. The use of clarification should occur by asking the correct questions to seek to better understand the comments that have been expressed by the adolescent. Confrontation can be used to clarify information when the adolescent says or does two conflicting statements or actions. Active listening is constantly utilized. Summarization reflects the content of the adolescent’s statements, requires more detailed information and takes a longer period of time. Immediate feedback is a necessity to ensure that the adolescent is aware that the communicator may not have all the answers to their concerns, but does have a plan to help them search for the answers (Hattersley & McJannet, 2008).
Another important concept when communicating with adolescents is the possibility of dual roles. Dual roles are the blending of the communicator’s professional role with the adolescent’s misguided feelings. When an adolescent male is angry and communicating the issues in their lives, they can begin to feel accepted and loved when someone is listening closely and not being judgmental. Consequently, they may develop feelings of sexual/emotional attachment towards the communicator. The communicator needs to not become emotionally involved and set clear boundaries. The ethical reasons why the communicator should not become emotionally involved is because it may impair their judgment, cause a conflict of interest, give rise to the danger of exploitation, and blur boundaries. The good manager of communication is not to be a friend for the adolescent, but to help them work through their issues that are causing their anger so they can achieve a better quality of life (Hutchinson, 2012).
Communicators can utilize multiple forms of media when talking with adolescents such as face-to-face encounters, in small or large group meetings, videos, letters and electronically (Hattersley & McJannet 2008). In 2012 the Ericsson Consumer Lab performed a survey of 2,000 adolescents 13-17 years of age questioning the ways they preferred to communicate. 58% selected meeting face-to-face, 28% preferred texting, 5% talking on the phone, 5% Facebook, and 1% video chat, Skype, Twitter, or email. Video chat is becoming more popular because it is similar to face-to-face, only through the use of technology. The study found that adolescents did not like to talk on the phone because they felt it was more for adult use. This study’s findings can be very useful for a communicator working with an adolescent male. Keeping up with technology is considered staying in step with modern society however; this research study indicated that the majority of adolescents preferred face-to-face conversations (Koehler, 2012). Some communicators ask the adolescent to journal their feelings and then the journal can remain a private purging or can be shared with the communicator to stimulate conversation or address issues expressed within the text.
There are many opportunities where adolescents can interface with communicators. Effective communication is vital to develop goals to constructively manage anger. Adolescents who become involved in programs can become less angry and potentially prevent them from engaging in risky or dangerous behaviors because they feel more connected within their school and community environment. Joining organizations such as: youth centers, youth groups, Concern for Youth, school clubs, summer recreation programs, anger management classes, mentoring programs, Big Brother Big Sister, extracurricular activities, and sports can provide opportunities for constructive communication.
Well managed communication between adolescent males expressing anger and effective communicators is very important. A Human Service professional who desires a career in adolescent care needs to be able to manage effective communication. Even though each of us have been communicating all of their lives practicing effective communication can be difficult. Each communicator brings with them their own individual backgrounds, personalities, values, strengths, weaknesses and personal goals. An effective communicator must consistently question their own beliefs and what they can learn from their audience. Examining and learning from their environment can improve their future communication style (Hattersley & McJannet, 2008). A person who is able to manage communication successfully can guide the angry adolescent down paths where they can discover the great and positive experiences that life can offer.
