Ducks Model of Realtionships

Ducks model of relationship dissolution has four stages. The four stages are intrapersonal, dyadic, social, and intrapersonal again.

The intrapersonal stage is when the couple thinks about his/her dissatisfaction in the relationship. They can focus on their partner’s behavior and then assess the adequacy of their partner’s behavior. They can depict and evaluate the negative aspects of the relationship and than consider the costs to themselves if they were to decide to withdrawal from the relationship. They will consider what they will lose both financially and emotionally from the relationship and how much it will cost them to move on from the relationship.

Mary and John are in a relationship and John is an alcoholic who beats Mary. He is very controlling and drains the family financially. Mary has a good job and contributes to the financial needs of the family. Mary thinks of all the positives in the relationship such as John is a good cook, he helps take care of their kids, and he is handsome. On the other hand if she decides to leave she will continue to support the family, will not get beaten and will not be controlled by John. Mary’s thoughts are of dissatisfaction with the relationship but has she reached the point of saying that she can not tolerate this relationship anymore?

The dyadic stage is when the couple can face and confront the issues in the relationship with their partner or continue to avoid the situation. The partners would have to confront the issue and then confront each other. They would discuss the relationship and attempt to negotiate. Many times couples attempt to repair the relationship. They can continue to have a relationship with each other and assess the costs if they withdrawal and this reaction can interrupt the intimacy between the couple. Mary discusses with John all the positive and negative thoughts she has been having about their relationship and decides that she wants out.

The social stage is when the strain in the relationship is becoming a topic of discussion among their friends, family, work associates and they will begin to justify the deterioration in the relationship by explaining the negative parts of the relationship to others. They can discuss the breakup and this will negotiate gossip among family and friends. They can place the blame on the partner. They can contact a marriage counselor or some type of intervention strategy. Sooner or later they have to admit to their friends and family that the relationship is in trouble and they have to experience reactions from their friends and family. Mary tells her family and friends that she broke up with John and that she feels that she made the right decision.

The intrapersonal stage is when the couple recovers from the breakup. They can form the account of the breakup anyway that they want. They can engage in retrospection and analyze what went wrong in the relationship. This is when they publicly announce the breakup stories. Mary is happy not being in the troubled relationship anymore and she tells all of her friends that it’s over. A period of time later she is begins to recover from her relationship with John and may consider dating again.