We live in a society where men
are socialized to conquer women through power and control and they are taught
to think that it’s ok to have sex with a woman with no consent. What is
consent? “Consent is informed, freely and actively given with mutually
understandable words or actions that indicate a willingness to participate in a
mutually agreed upon sexual activity. It is voluntary and both partners must be
willing to engage in the act without any pressure or force. Verbal body
language is often misinterpreted and is not an indication of consent”. Many men
treat women like objects and they define their manhood by the quantity of women
they have slept with. Society implies that a real man is aggressive, powerful
and supposed to have sex with beautiful women.
Society
glorifies domestic violence. Abuse is not a mistake, it’s a choice. Current
statistics indicate that 99% of all sexual violence acts are committed by men
and only 1:4 women will survive a sexual attack. The most targeted group for
sexual violence is college freshmen. Wearing short skirts or walking
home with a guy does not cause sexual violence. Did you know that there
are more strip clubs in the world than there are shelters for women to escape
violence?
Joshua
Phillips has been actively advocating against sexual violence since 2003 when
he joined the Sexual Aggression Peer Advocates Group at the University of
Central Michigan. Since joining this group he has presented countless programs
throughout the United States. He says that sexual violence is a cultural issue;
his educational philosophy is that we must actively be against sexual violence,
not passive. In 2007 he joined two fellow advocates that started
their own active resistance against sexual violence by creating the group East
Coast Walkers. In the summer of 2008, the East Coast Walkers successfully
completed a 1,800 mile walk from Miami to Boston to raise awareness about
sexual violence. Josh’s hope is to use stories from the walk to inspire others
to creatively engage in everyday activism in an effort to create dialogue. He
states that he refuses to tiptoe through life to arrive safely at death.
So what
can we do about it? Activism is a good place to start. Set an example
everyday of being a person that shows leadership, compassion, and let people
know you care. Be proactive not just reactive. Josh says to create movements
not monuments. Monuments won’t stop sexual violence. Women will hide
their pain for years because we live in a society where no one will believe
them or even listen, but 94% of sexually assaulted women tell the truth about
being assaulted.
After
the presentation there was a march through campus from Orvis to the Townhouses.
The chant that the people shouted was “Alfred unite, take back the night!
1,2,3,4 we won’t take it anymore! 5,6,7,8 no more violence! No more hate! Stop
the violence! Stop the violence! Claim our bodies, claim our right, take a
stand, take back the night! Wherever we go, however we dress, no means no and
yes means yes!” Lots of stares and cheering arose as we marched through campus.
After arriving at the Townhouses there were anonymous personal anecdotes and
poems that were read of pain and hurt. These anecdotes were very
powerful. It was sad to think that someone you see every day could have this
pain inside. Rape survivors are 13 times more likely to attempt suicide.
How can
you help to prevent sexual violence in your life? Let someone know where you
are at all times. Have your cell phone on you at all times to call for help if
you need it. Trust your emotions and leave any situation if you feel
uncomfortable or uneasy. Use the buddy system by watching out for your friends
and ask them to watch out for you. Be assertive and say no firmly if someone is
pressuring you. Don’t accept drinks from a stranger, watch your drink at all
times, never leave your drink unattended and be aware of what you drink, and
how much you have consumed.
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