Jakob
Ammann became a religious leader that sought to revitalize the Switzerland
Anabaptist movement in 1693, but grew dissatisfied and later splintered from
the group to start the Amish religion. He believed that to promote
purity and spiritual discipline a simple, non-coveting lifestyle was
needed. He forbade fashionable dress for all followers; women never
to cut their hair, no long hair for men and no trimming of beards after the men
were married. These simple practices he believed eliminated coveting
and feelings of pride (Kraybill, 2008). Amish
migrated to North America in 1736 settling in 20 U.S. states that included New
York, Montana, Oregon, Kansas, Oklahoma, Iowa, North Dakota, Wisconsin,
Arkansas, Tennessee, Illinois, Michigan, Kentucky, Indiana, Ohio, Florida,
Virginia, Pennsylvania, Maryland, and Delaware with Ohio and Pennsylvania
having the highest concentrations (Hostetler, 1993)
Marriage
and family is a very important institution for the Amish religion. Young
adults have very few opportunities to interact with the opposite sex and are
gender segregated at church and during play. Amish rarely date before the age
of 16 and they are never seen in daylight alone. The young adults have the
personal freedom to choose their mates. When considering a partner for
marriage, 1st and 2nd cousins and sometimes the children of 1st
cousins are taboos (Hostetler, 1993). The young men, when finding a
potential wife, look for girls who are pretty (Stevick, 2007). The
girls, when looking for a husband, look for a man who embodies traditional
Amish values such as industry, strength, responsibility and humility, and who
they think would be a good husband, father, provider and responsible church
member. When the boy chooses a girl, he shows his interest by writing a letter,
or having a friend tell her. He may take the girl for a walk and has a
designated time and place to meet away from the crowd and invite the girl for a
ride in his buggy. Traditional courtship days are Saturday or Sunday. A steady
girlfriend will see him at singing and usually every other Saturday night. He
waits until he is sure that her parents have gone to bed and he comes outside
her bedroom window, shining a flashlight to signal his arrival and she lets him
inside to play games (Hostetler, 1993). A custom that is not as
popular as it used to be during the courtship process is bundling, also
referred to as bed courtship. Bundling is when the male and female sleep
together in the female’s bedroom getting to know each other better. The
female is tightly wrapped in a bed sheet, the male sleeps closely in the bed
with her, but no clothing is removed. There is no physical contact such as
hugging, necking, petting, body contact or sex before or after engagement. The
Amish religion objects to casual dating, and discourages long term courtships
so when couples are seen in public, it is assumed that they will marry. After
they are established as a couple, he is allowed to pick her up in his buggy
before singing (Stevick, 2007) which is performed
only by the unmarried young people (Hostetler, 1993).
The
Old Order Amish believe that before young people can be presented as an engaged
couple, both must be church members or candidates for membership (Stevick,
2007). The groom goes to the bishop in his district stating his intentions to
marry, telling him the bride’s name and her agreement to marry him. He requests
a letter to be signed by the bishop and the rest of the ministry, confirming he
is in good standing and he is free of sexual misconduct. He then takes the
letter to the bishop in the young women’s district and the bishop is informed
that he desires to marry and it is signed after she is confirmed that she is
free from sexual misconduct (Stevick, 2007). The engagement
is announced only in church to the congregation, usually six weeks prior to the
wedding date (Stevick, 2007). The bride and groom do not attend
church that day, but attend singing the same night the engagement is announced.
That night the couple will attend singing and invite friends to attend their
wedding. The man travels in his buggy that same night into different districts
to invite special friends and family. The man starts to grow out his beard
symbolizing the marriage ring (Kraybill, 2010). The couple will then appear in
public as a couple (Stevick, 2007). If a girl were to become pregnant, she must
marry the father, unless he is not Amish (Kraybill, 2010).
The
wedding, usually on a Thursday in the fall after the harvest (Weiner-Johnson,
2010), is an opportunity for a feast and 300-500 people attend with
preparations beginning months in advance. Cooking begins the day before the
wedding and horse drawn carriages deliver benches, hymn books, dishes, and
chairs to prepare for a wedding ceremony that will last for 3 hours (Stevick,
2007). The ceremony remains simple because it symbolizes the values
of relationships, community, and faith occurring at the bride’s next door
neighbor’s house. The bride and groom wear the same clothing they wear to
church only it is new. The bride traditionally wears navy blue, teal, or purple
and a black cap to symbolize her singleness. The bride’s attendants are her
unmarried friends (Krybill, 2013) wearing the same color and the clothing is
usually sewn by the bride’s mother (Stevick, 2007). The groom and
his two best men wear black or white. The church service is similar to a
regular church service except the song contents are related to marriage
(Stevick, 2007).
During the ceremony
the bride steps over a broom to symbolize her new life (Weiner-Johnson, 2010). The
groom’s unmarried peers will capture him and throw him over a fence into the
waiting arms of young married men to symbolize his change of status into
married life. At noon, the wedding party moves to the reception at the bride’s
home. The tables are arranged in two long rows in a shape of the letter L and
at the bend in the table the bride and groom sit surrounded with the best feast
foods (Stevick, 2007). At the end of the meal a cake is cut or cupcakes are
decorated with themes that convey events in the couple’s lifes together and are
distributed (Stevick, 2007). After the meal the couple goes to the bride’s
bedroom (Weiner-Johnson, 2010) to open gifts that everyone who attends the
wedding is required to bring (Hostetler, 1993). Divorce
is not allowed and the expectations are that the couple will bear between 7-10
children to ensure that the religion flourishes.
Having
experienced living among the Amish, it has been interesting to observe their
strong religious beliefs, and customs and traditions that seem to continue to
flourish and thrive.
Works Cited
Hostetler, John A. Amish Society.
Baltimore: John Hopkins UP, 1993. Print.
Hurst, Charles E. Amish Paradox Diversity
and Change in the World's Biggest Amish Community. Baltimore:
John Hopkins UP, 2010. Print.
Kraybill, Donald B. The Amish of
Lancaster County. Stackpole Books Mechaniscburg, PA, 2008
Kraybill, Donald B., Steven M. Nolt, and David
Weaver-Zercher. The Amish Way: Patient Faith in a Perilous World.
San Francisco: Jossey-Bass, 2010. Print.
Kraybill, Donald B. "Countries and Their
Cultures." Amish. N.p., 2011. Web. 13 Mar. 2013.
http://www.everyculture.com/multi/A-Br/Amish.html
Stevick, Richard A. Growing up Amish: The
Teenage Years. Baltimore: Johns Hopkins UP, 2007. Print.
Weiner-Johnson Karen M. New York Amish
Life in the Plain Communities of the Empire State. Cornell University
Cornell, NY 2010
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